This former workaholic has tips for getting back your sanity

This former workaholic has tips for getting back your sanityThis former workaholic has tips for getting back your sanityCant stop answering emails after work? Do you pride yourself as being the last one to leave the office, even though theres nothing to do? No boundaries between home and the office? Want to stop the madness? chill Turn Off Your Job and Turn On Your Life, is a new book by Dr. Brian E. Robinson that focuses on short bursts of meditation and lessons in mindfulness to stop the cycle of overwork.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreRobinson, a licensed psychotherapist with a practice in Asheville, NC, is a recovering workaholic that has written extensively about work addiction. His book, however, is for everybody - useful for anyone from a go-go perfectionist overachiever to the tech-obsessed soul who wants to learn how to unplug after work and focus on work-life balanc e.He spoke with Ladders about his bookLadders Your book is aimed at workaholics but I read it, and it seems like it could be for anyone, especially today that we have this modern, very highly technologically-connected workforce that has trouble shutting off at the end of the day.Robinson Actually, I wrote it for everybody.I spent a lot of time writing and researching this whole idea of work-addiction and workaholism and Ive written other books and articles about it. This book is for workaholics, but its for anyone on the continuum the workaholic might be the fruchtwein extreme. People are picking it up and saying, Gosh, Im not a workaholic but this certainly helps me, because I think many of us, if not most of us, are struggling with the blurred lines because of the technology and the pressures that people are feeling theyre under, some of which we put ourselves under.My goal welches to extend it to everybody It can be a stay-at-home mom or stay-at-home dad. It can be someone whos fully employed. It can be a volunteer and even a retiree.So the book is really about being able to be mindful and pay attention and slow down a little bit, so we can live longer and live happier.Ladders You wrote about your experience as a workaholic. What kind of work were you doing then?Robinson I was at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte I went through the professorial ranks and thats when I was in the throes of my own work addictions before I even had a private practice.I was teaching counseling in the Department of Counseling, Special Ed and Child Development. I was just so immersed in it. I had no clue. You know, when were in the water, sometimes we dont see the water were swimming in.Ladders What drives workaholism or things that can turn you on to workaholism?Robinson Well, a true dyed-in-the-wool workaholic is not unlike an alcoholic, actually. The trajectory of the addiction is very similar and, in my own situation, there was a time when I would hide my work be cause my family would complain, just like an alcoholic hides a bottle.I was working day, night, weekends, holidays, just working all the time. What I realized, in my own recovery, is that it gave me this high. And what a lot of workaholics do, it helps them assuage anxiety.A lot of it has to do with control of dealing with uncertainty and unpredictability. And then it becomes a medication. Its used to hold that anxiety at bay when the fear of the unknown or not knowing whats gonna happen.That profile doesnt fit everybody, but many of the people who are not workaholics are often dealing with perfectionism or that little voice in their head that says, You have to. You must.Ladders What is a chilled life or a chilled worker? And how do you get there?The way I define it is someone who is drawn versus driven. What I just described to you was my being driven from either an internal source like the voice in my head that says, Youve gotta be in control. Something terribles gonna happen if y oure not, or on the outside, where you have deadlines or you have a big business or a boss whos standing over you saying, Youve gotta get this done.Even if its not there, sometimes we bring that to the work. Even if youre not a workaholic, some people experience their boss or their supervisor as a parent and that results in a replay of what happened in their own childhoods. So thats driven.Now drawn is the opposite. Its inside-out instead of outside-in. And so a chilled worker would be someone who is able to come from their own internal peace and that takes some work to get there. Its people who they dont just speed through. Theyre also aware. Theyre mindful, I guess is the best way to say it. Theyre mindfully present of the people around them and whats going on inside of them and theyre able to regulate internally how they respond to either that inner voice or that external pressure, instead of allowing themselves to cave into it.Viktor Frankl wrote the book Mans Search For Meanin g about his experience at Auschwitz and, basically, the book says the reason he survived is because the Nazis could not take his will.What a quote from it says is, Between the trigger or the stimulus and youre reaction to it, there is a space. And once you find that space, youre able to be there more. In that space, he says, you have a choice, and when youre choosing how you respond to a situation instead of just automatically reacting, youre free.That space could be anything I know thats a long answer, but A chilled worker is someone whos able to stay in that sweet spot, that chill spot.Ladders I wanted to ask you about open-awareness meditation, one easy form of meditation you mentioned in the book. So why does that help us?Robinson The more you do it, the more you build that space. It brings you into the present moment. It actually, on a neurological level, puts you in your, what we call the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the opposite of the sympathetic. The sympatheti c is your fight or flight. Thats where fear and anger and reactivity is and, over time, basically, youre training the brain. I dont have to react just because something happens that I dont like. Im able to stay calm and deal with it from my we call it the new brain instead of the lizard brain.Youll notice people who meditate regularly will say, Gosh, I dont have those hot buttons anymore. Im able to respond more rationally when something upsets me.Ladders It seems like theyre something you can do even in the middle of the workday at your desk?Robinson Oh yeah, and I recommend five minutes. When I mention meditation to my clients or when Im speaking, people throw their hands up, I cant do another thing. Dont even go there. And I say, Hold on. Im talking five minutes. Because when people hear meditation, they think of the 70s. And they just immediately write it off.So I say, This is portable, its free. It will change your life. Five minutes a day. If you want to do more, fine. And th ats what I do. I do five minutes a day and I sit and do one of the meditations in the book, and just focus on my breath. In through my nose, out through my mouth.And over time, it regulates your reactivity and it helps you be in that chill spot more. Five minutes is doable between sunrise and sunset.Ladders Going from workaholism to wherever you are on the continuum, what does a better, more chill version of ourselves look like overall?Robinson There are eight C words and when youre in that place, of course, the whole idea of that chill spot is theres a sense of calm. Theres a sense of clarity. Theres connection more connection with yourself and with people. Theres a greater sense of confidence and courage courage meaning youre more willing to stick your neck out, not in dangerous ways but maybe do things you wouldnt have ordinarily done and you grow from it. So thats what courage is.And then theres creativity. The creativity gets unleashed when were calmer. Most people who are cr eatives, and certainly writers, will often say, and this is true of me, my creative ideas come not when Im struggling and trying to make them come, but when Im in the shower or moving furniture. Because youre more relaxed and youre not forcing. So the creativity emerges. And compassion. Self- compassion as well as compassion for others.So thats a chilled worker but its also just someone, even if they dont have a job in the workplace, as a mom or a dad, a chilled parent. Or a chilled retiree.And one of the things I say in the book is, if we can be a little more forgiving of ourselves and other people, again that helps you immerse in that place, the sweet spot, the chill spot.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 h abits of mentally strong people